Finding the right words to say when someone experiences a loss can be challenging. We know that offering comfort is important, but many people worry about saying the wrong thing. In recognition of National Grief Awareness Day and inspired by a recent Time article titled ’11 Things to Say When Someone Dies Besides ‘I’m Sorry,’’ we want to offer guidance on how to provide meaningful support to those who are grieving. Simple, compassionate responses are often the most impactful. Here’s how you can approach these delicate moments with care.

Acknowledge the Loss

One of the most significant ways to offer support is by simply acknowledging the loss. Grieving individuals appreciate when others recognize their pain and offer heartfelt sympathy. A statement like, “I can’t imagine how hard this is for you, and I’m sending you all my strength and love,” is compassionate and sincere. It demonstrates that you see their grief without trying to minimize it.

According to Time, it’s best to avoid clichés like “They’re in a better place” or “Everything happens for a reason,” as these can feel dismissive or may not align with the grieving person’s beliefs (Haupt, 2024).

Listen More, Speak Less

Sometimes, the most supportive action you can take is simply being present. Grieving individuals may need someone to listen as they share memories, express their feelings, or sit in silence. Being an active listener allows to process their emotions, knowing someone is there for them. As emphasized in ’11 Things to Say When Someone Dies Besides ‘I’m Sorry,’’ bearing witness to someone’s grief without trying to fix it is key.

Offer Specific Help

While offering to “let me know if you need anything” is common, it’s more helpful to offer specific assistance. Those grieving may be too overwhelmed to identify their needs or ask for help. Offering to handle concrete tasks – like preparing meals, running errands, or providing childcare – can be incredibly supportive and often more practical (Haut, 2024).

Respect the Process

Grief is deeply personal and unique to each individual. There is no one-size-fits-all approach. What brings comfort to one person may not resonate with another. It’s essential to respect their process and avoid imposing timelines or expectations on how they should grieve.

What Not to Say

While offering comfort, it’s important to avoid phrases that could unintentionally hurt. Statements like “I know how you feel” or “They wouldn’t want you to be sad” can minimize someone’s experience. Everyone’s journey through grief is unique, and comparisons often feel invalidating rather than supportive.

On this National Grief Awareness Day, we encourage you to approach someone’s grief with sincerity, presence, and compassion. Acknowledging their loss, offering specific help, and simply listening are meaningful ways to show you care. Remember, your presence and willingness to listen often speak louder than words.

Source

Haupt, A. (2024, July 24). 11 things to say when someone dies besides “I’m sorry.” Time. https://time.com/7001462/what-to-say-when-someone-dies/?utm_source=recommendedreads.com